-- let it happen
Sunday, July 10, 2011
07:01 p.m.

· · · i realized that i haven't written a single entry since i moved to crapadelphia----and that my 27th birthday [almost 2 weeks ago] marked the 10 year anniversary of ever owning a blog. in light of this, i thought that i should probably say something about the last 10 years of my life. .....so where do i start?

i want to begin by saying that after reading some of my old entries, i am amazed by how far i've come. what once was, is no more and what is now, was not so before. it's strange how that works. i read old entries and noticed how the issues i ranted about are really so much smaller than the issues i wrestle with today. everyone can say "i've learned so much since then", but i honestly believe that i have not only learned so much, but have also become a person i never imagined to be. i don't necessarily mean that in a negative way, either. back then, i ranted on things that irritated me---things about the world or my family. i did it it all without recognizing the natural restrictions of reality. i can't say that it wasn't necessary, but it's amazing how i feel about my thoughts from then. i don't take back what i have written, but i do accept that my ideas and thoughts may not have been entirely sensible.

so where do i go from here? the past 9 months in philadelphia have been incredible. incredibly stressful, incredibly inspiring, incredibly weird, incredibly fun, and incredibly irritating. moving here felt so much different from the feelings i had when i moved to davis when i was 18. for starters, i felt that moving here was totally my choice----something that wasn't driven by the desire to get away from my explosive family, a desire to be closer to someone, or any other obligation. i moved here truly wanting to not only explore another way of living, but also to find away to improve myself. i think i've accomplished that. i've proven to myself that i really am capable of even higher education and that where ever i may go, i will get to know truly amazing people. i will say that i absolutely detested snow. i always knew i would, but now i can say that i really, REALLY hate living in it. i can also say the same about humidity and living without my car. i often think about how awesome it will be to go back to cali, but how sad i will be when this journey ends in another 9 months.

despite the whole roller coaster known as the past 10 years of my life, i am becoming content with what makes me who i am. in doing so, i am learning to forgive those who i felt offended me and i hope that those who i have offended are learning the same. i don't think i could be doing this without the wonderfully inspiring people in my life. for that, i'm incredibly thankful.

-- is this thing even on?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
04:19 p.m.

· · · this will be the last entry i make before i move to the east coast. i don't really know what i should say because i feel like all of the stuff i wrote while i was a microbiologists consisted of drab rants pouring out my regret and resentment for whatever. as cool as it feels to let things out here, i think that it's a little unfair that i immortalize only bad feelings. -----sooooo, i'm going to do something different today.

i don't really think i need to write goodbyes to people i'm leaving behind in california, but i feel that it's necessary for me to say a few things to certain people. i truly have the best friends. i want them to know. i don't care how much we fight over things, i still adore them and would be completely lost without them.

· · v a l v a l i s · ver.zeroFIVE · est.2001 · ·

- # name: joanne - # age: twenty two - # status: uc davis - # fixed: southern california - # icon: roxy + juicy - # tint: silver - # why: never really know, just do - # drive: you - # ambition: winged flight - # type: air, wind, sky - # fixation: swords, stitch, hibiscus, moonlight, toffee, strawberries, my jellybeans [ <3! ] - # scented: lovespell, aura, hula, black raspberry vanilla - # grasp: glory, love in others, crystalized hope ··» extra = myspace and facebook --- has someone taken your faith? it's real, the pain you feel the life, the love you die to heal the hope that starts the broken hearts your trust, you must confess is someone getting the best of you?

· · although you can't go back : // wing heart v.02 // lacerated mind // answers we find // straight out of line // desiderata // desiderata pt.two // foreign

· · they'll take you forward : . eye thinggy . unsweetened tea . rareweb1 . ghettoness . hibiscus ring . breeds mormons . brady bunch mom . library what? . wasian empire victim . steps on doggies . red ridding hood . these clay? . bike affiliate . granny pants . glitter high . blue font . shatface . shatface, again . midnightcallaholic . buffy like whoa . koala bearz . sc visor . jessaaaaaai . spikey blue hair . kt-mommy . krist's future hubby . tom-tom . zechs-chris . lil' h8 machine . martha stewart mode . 22 my ass . dirty flip power

· · and somewhere inbetween, we'll find each other : » tagboard « name : url or email : message · (smilies) :

· · because i'll always be here :

· · waiting for you : yeah okay, all of you know i've become a slacker with this. i used to crank out like 2 posts a day back when i was 17, but hey! it's awesome knowing that i have so much of a life outside that keeps me from doing this. but i kinda wish i did it more, just to remember the stuff worth remembering. oh well, ---revamped and refreshed for a new spin featuring the lovely kyoko from TSK :D ....since i figured that kim decided to kill my last layout as a lovely 21st birthday present for me. i was wondering when she'd finally keel over and delete it, since she liked deleting my shat without telling me back in the day when she'd get mad of me. oh well. gotta dust it off. so anyway! i noticed that i probably did like....one entry per month, maybe a little less. haha, i should work on fixing that. tons of <3 for sticking with me this long!

this is a pretty layout, but all of the stuff carved onto it is mine. <3